Thursday, March 17, 2005
i so farkin tired....burned...
It's been 2 days since i came bck frm my scouts job week camp...andi still feel so tired..i wld hav expected to be able to get more slp since i am helping to run the cmap but apparently my job isd nvr ending so i am slping at most 1 or 2 hrs evey nite cos i hav to settle the accounts and other stuff. (at least i get to access the staff lounge..hahaz...)

the cmap has been very taxing...y...b'cos i hav juniors hu are to spoon-fed at home..i am waiting to see when we can toughen them up...but still...the way the troop is run is getin out of hand...we hav to change it soon....the way punishments are met out....no wonder so many ppl are leaving.

today..is the first day of band camp....yesterday was the strt of ncc cmap..basically sum of my close frenz are in there...damn...regrets run thru the course of my veins....there's nuthin more better sounding to me than knowing tt besides ur camp...there's another cca camp wif ur frenz in it.....maybe i feel this way noe cos of changes in the past three mths....three mths tt i wished i could have changed....wished tt nvr happened...

no matter....i hav oready gone so far in my scoutingship....i can go furthur...but i am tied down to other responsibilities..to my self..and to my frenz.... to family....hahaz...

this is so farkin sad....i am stuck at home....doin hmwrk...thinking abt wad my frenz are doin....although i hav said i hav oready let her go...deep dwn i noe i can't..i dunno y...curses a thousand time over...

damn..when will sch re-open..i wanna get on with my life..the o' lvls...i am not yet prepared for the challenges tt is set for me up ahead..but i noe i am ready to go thru the process of getting there.....

~life has it's trials and tribulations.....with courage can u go thru it~

~i hope she has a fine time at camp~

~ wish i cld look out for her~

~i can't... .... ....~



Desires of R3aL_Em0tioN
~ 3/17/2005 01:00:00 PM ~
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Name: Ian
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