stories on hold...more srious stuff at hand
lets start off with my results...or lets say my attitude.
it's oficial...my change with my attitude have finally struck a tone with almost everyone i noe...family, frenz and teachers. i tot it was sumthin tt wld pass by as time got by..but...i admit it, i hav denying it for the past time...saying it wasn't bothering me juz made it worse.much worse.
yes..i do like her..so wad. it not's like anythings gonna happen...it was juz a farkin waste of my 50 bucks..and my time...fark it.
of all times to try and find someone....not now..i have things to do. impt things. if i did care for her...even if she didn't feel quite the same as me...i wld juz bck off...isn't tt wad i hav been doin the past few weeks?
i came bck frm the parents-teacher thing about an hr ago from 10:00pm, it was me alone in the class with mdm gill, one on one. we were tokin, and she asked me if anythnig was bothering me...i was like yea...there is...... at the bck of my mind. but i cldn't tell her...so i juz gave her the same facade i have been showin everyone else...i'm ok, dun worry. still she knew sumthin happened....tt resulted in my change of behaviour...quiet, withdrawn. it ain't helping my marks either. damn...i juz wish..i cld get away frm it all....
sumtimes..i lay awake on my bed...i strt thinkin'...abt things i hav done and regretted....i regretted not doin this...regretted doin tt....like my life plashed b4 my eyes...as if i'm dying. but then i get up frm my bed and realize, wait, i'm not dead.so y this regret?...and y do i feel worser as time goes on...slowly.
i found the ans to my problems....i'm letting go...seriously...so guys...to those hu noe..i wld appreciate it if u stopped with wadever ur doin...such as saying stuff abt me and ~her~. for example when her mom popped by....u noe la.
i seriously wun wan to be reminded of anything tt i did....for her...damn. i woke up....it wasn't meant to be....now i hav onli one thing on mind...my O's...if i go crazy abt it.....well....life goes on.
but b4 i let go..i juz wanna say sori...even if she dun read my blog.
~sori if farked up any part of ur life in anyway...concentrate on ur studies.i noe how u did...it's sadddening.....u dun need another farker like me in ur life,... be happi...~
~Cheers~....
~ 3/11/2005 10:02:00 PM ~
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||Melvin||
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||Preeetty freaky||
Name: Ian
Age: Old enough
Hobbies: Le Parkour, Sailing/kayaking, playing the Guitar, photoshop, Outdoorsy junk
ReVeS dE l'AmOuR